In my body paragraph, I have gone back and reworded to avoid repetition. Please tell me if you still think you hear some in it, also, I don't like the last transition, what would be a good one for that? Nothing else has changed, I just didn't want some words like "express to pop up a great deal (however it seems I have gotten rid of that one completely) You don't need to worry about the commentary because I didn't change any of it. And I'm really sorry I posted this so late!
By the way, how are we supposed to do the conclusion?
Hey emery! On Friday your paragraph was great so I'm glad you kept your commentary. Maybe you could use "to go along with" for your last transition? I like using the packet she gave us about the 5 part paragraphs first semester, that usually works well. Sounds good! Have a nice weekend
ReplyDeleteI really liked your paragraph! Your commentary was very insightive and showed a new perspective. I also agree with Olivia the packet is so much help. We will doing the conclusion in class on monday, just make sure you have your 2 final copies ready on monday. Have a great weekend!
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